Life update

I slept for two hours this afternoon. I was on the couch, reading my book for COMP311 (Computer Organization and Design) when suddenly I felt all warm and fuzzy and tired and just had to shut my eyes for a few secs. I woke up two hours later freezing cold and in the worst mood ever. It took me about ten minutes to get up from the couch coz I felt so tired. I guess the past three days is taking it's toll on me, what with all the stress of getting the stupid assignment done.

I got my marks back for it. 10 out 15. I find it kinda unfair, since I really put alot of effort into it, and Rivera has crashed at uni so I had to find another programme to simulate my VHDL files. Phat sent me the programme he used, which helped alot =) I am not sure what mistakes are, but I am sure the programme runs fine. It must be the component diagram I drew up, since I kinda threw it together about 1 am last night and didn't have a look through it. Meh.

I must get a high mark in the exam. I must I must I must. I wont accept a B in this course, I want an A. I can achieve that, but I gotta put in hard work in the next day and a half studying for the exam. But I am just so freaking tired ._.

Double Faced Language?

Today we had a little ceremony at uni saying farwell to an Omani colleague who just finished his Master's thesis on modelling the brain mathmatically while in a sedadtive state. During the ceremony, people stood up to talk, and to praise this colleague. Just basically say really nice stuff. At the end of it all he stood up to talk to everyone at the ceremony and said something that went like "I am suprised at the things said about me, even I didn't know them". I know it was a joke, but it strongly reminded me of a topic me and a friend of mine discussed not too long ago.

We were discussing both the Arabic and Persian language, coz they are rather similar in one sense. Arabic is a polite language. It is also a very poetic language, chock full off similes and and metaphors. When greeting another person, it may take minutes in order to complete a greeting. When one asks for something, an answer he or she may get is "Min 3yoony" (from my eyes). When expressing love for someone, one may say "7ayati" (My life). This kinda shows that you are prepared to sacrifice your eyes or even your life for the other person. Which kinda leads to an allegory and thus the double face, coz not many who say this are prepared to sacrfice their eyes or their life. It's quite intresting to try and work out where this phrases stem from, coz for example, the phrase "from my eyes" doesnt exist in the same sense with the English language as it does with Arabic. I think there's a hundred plus ways to say "I love you" in Arabic, while with English it's just one. And so ultimatly, this also leads to the double nature of the speakers themselves, coz honestly I think the Arabian society has the highest number of double faces. Because coureteousy is of the utmost importance, a person will use the poetic Arabic language to be sweet and corteous, when in fact the opposite is true deep inside. This also seems to be true with other poetic languages such as Persian, which my friends speaks.

It's just a theory lol. Not that I completely agree with it, but there are some intresting points.

On another note, I WON THE BET! But victory is so not sweet this time. I saw G today, and she waved then walked over to me. I was kinda suprised, then I yelled "Ha! I win the bet!". She gave me this really sad look, and went "This bet has proved to me I mean nothing to you"

....?!?!?!

I was gobsmacked, then seriously confused. I mean, were we not on an agreement to not talk to each other? And besides, she's the one who started it! I told her this and she went "Yes, but if you had started it I would totally txt you the next day and say I can't do this bet"

Omg I felt like we were a married couple at this point. I just didnt know what to say lol. Then the guilt started kicking in, coz I was pretty scatterbrained last week and so was always late for all of our meet ups to the point of irritating her. I apologized to her at this point, and told her I'll try not to repeat it again.

Seriously, her walking up to me and losing the bet is a huge deal, coz G is one of the most proud and stubborn people I know.

Wake up call

No, not the Maroon 5 song =P

But a call from my Mother.

I spoke to her a bit about how I am doing her and all that jazz, just the usual "How are you how is study how is the weather" and so forth.

Then my baby sister grabbed the phone from her and started singing Barney's famous one hit wonder "I love you, you love me".

Awwww!

I just so wanted to hug her and squish her and bite her cheeks!

My little brother refused to talk to me.




His reason?

I yelled at him last time we spoke and threatened to get no gifts next time I see him coz he doesn't talk to me much on the phone. So he's mad at me now =\

Sheesh! Can't he take a joke? I was so kidding!

Spoke to my other sister who told me about the weird party/family gathering that was held at our house yesterday in celebration of my brother's and sister's birthday. Everything is weird to this girl for some reason.

Check out my brother and baby sis, what hardcore party animals =P

I should learn a thing or two about partying from them.

Then the serious stuff started. Mama came back on the Phone again, and I told her about the odd phase I am going through.

I expected some sympathy from her...

HA! How wrong was I lol.

She told me instead to stop whining and to just pretty much MAN UP! <--- This is just the gist of the 3 min phone lecture given to me, with her concluding that she knows I am better than this and that she loves me.

You know what? She's so right. What else is there for me to do? I'm here right now, in NZ. Just started a new semester of study. They are on the other side of the world. What is the point of whining and getting myself all worked up about it. I'll probably end up doing badly in my studies if I continue being this way, be dissapointed with myslef, and the sweetness of going back to see them all will turn bland.

That's it, I got a new game plan going =P Already finished one assignment today, and got another two to complete this weekend, in addition to some reading I need to get done. My head is not in the clouds anymore. YAY!

I love my mother so much.

What do you do when your own mind is your prison?

I read this amazing article written by a muslim writer in Canada that really brings through the torments of a person suffereing from OCD.

The link to the article ---> http://adbusters.org/the_magazine/75/Whispers.html

What does one do when the prison is their own mind? Questioning every little thing that they do, always making them go through a double take, or even tripleor quadruple take, in order to convince the thoughts that everything is all right.

OCD stand for obsessive-compulsive disorder and it's a psychiatric anxiety disorder. You're mind basically keeps telling you to obsess over something trivial until you start going through an abnormal ritual in order to kill the thoughts, as seen from the above article.

The main reason why I am intrested in this disorder is I know someone who has it. Always on edge, always ready to explode at you if you put one thing out of order in the bedroom. Everything is meticulously in order in the bedroom, from the way the bed covers are placed on the bed to the position of the carpet on the floor. Taking ages just to do the simple task of washing the hands because the areas between the fingers need to be scrubbed three times clean since that's where all the dirt collects. It scares the hell out of me.

It's ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!

Here I go again. Every blog needs an intro.

Third attempt at being a blogster. I sincerly hope I'll last this time. I don't even remember what my other two blogs were called as it has been such a while since I even thought of attempting this again.

Hmm I do remember there being "conundrum" in the url of one blog...but that's all.

I've had an intresting two past years. So many thing have happened that have shook me to the core and really changed me as a person. Bittersweet really...don't wanna have to go through such situations again but at the same time, I'm glad I did.

My life before was a sort of reverie, I was there in body, but not there in mind. Kinda like The Matrix, but the other way around. A total loner. Inconsequential existence. All very depressing really.

After bring forcefully jolted back into reality, I kinda started seeing and feeling things in sharper focus. The colors of the tree were greener, the sound of birds outside the window was sweet, and the feel of a breeze on my face truley was wonderous. I know I sound really cheesy and cliche, but this is how I genuinely started feeling. Happiness and at peace with everything.

I mean really, what else is there to do but to hold your head up high and just march on to the beat of your own drums. And that's exactly what I am doing now =D

I started reading, writing and drawing again. Would write little snippets of thought on a random pad which resulted in them being either scrunched up and thrown away or just lost somewhere in the pandemonium that is my bedroom.

Thus, pestiferous is born. My own little contaminated part of the blogging world. It's oh-so-contagious.